Listening is an important leadership skill most of us could greatly improve. Listening enhances our communication effectiveness, improves team morale, and generates increased productivity. Listening is core to engaging the heart of another human being.
Many of us think we are decent listeners. We try not to interrupt others and we could (if pressed) repeat the essence of what the other person just said…well, as long as our short term memory is fully intact and it’s not too late in the day. That’s listening, isn’t it?
I know this isn’t polite, but try an experiment. Nonchallantly listen in on a conversation between two people the next time you are standing in line. Really! Is there evidence either party is listening to what is being said? Or, do you hear two monologues with polite transition between the two? Test it out!
Real listening is a lot more than hearing and responding to words. Listening involves getting ourselves out of the way and perceiving the message, intent, and passion of the other person’s words from their point of view. What are they trying to convey? What matters to them? What is motivating their expression? What are they not saying? What do they want/need from you or others?
Admittedly, it is difficult and exhausting to listen with this kind of selflessness. What gets in the way? Pride (we want to be heard), defensiveness (we feel criticized), diffused energy (our thoughts migrate back to “me”), etc. Real listening is tough to do, but is also one of the most rewarding skills you can develop.
Sincere listening is a gift, precious and valuable. Try giving it to someone and watch what happens!
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